finally, ntapos ko n ren ung deception point. thanks to reich. and since i don't like my stuff being returned to me with damages and all, i also do the same to other people. kaya i decided to change the plastic cover kc when i borrowed it, an dami munang kamay na dinaanan ung book na un bago tlaga dumating saken.
i enjoyed reading it. altho an tgal tlaga ngstay saken nung book. galing tlaga ni dan brown. and xempre, emotional as i can be, na-touch nnman ako. there is this part of the story na nafeel ko daw dba. hehe..
here's the part...
Michael Tolland felt like a man who had found hope on the way to the gallows.
Life is mocking me.
For years since Celia's death, Tolland had endured nights when he'd wanted to die, hours of pain and loneliness that seemed only escapable by ending it all. And yet he had chosen life, telling himself he could make it alone. Today, for the first time, Tolland had begun to understand what his friends had been telling him all along.
Mike, you don't have to make it alone. You'll find another love.
Rachel's hand in his made this irony that much harder to swallow. Fate had cruel timing. He felt as if layers of armor were crumbling away from his heart. For an instant, on the tired decks of the Goya, Tolland sensed Celia's ghost looking over him as she often did. Her voice was in the rushing water . . . speaking the last words she'd spoken to him in life.
"You're a survivor," her voice whispered. "Promise me you'll find another love."
"I'll never want another," Tolland had told her.
Celia's smile was filled with wisdom. "You'll have to learn."
Now, on the deck of the Goya, Tolland realized, he was learning. A deep emotion welled suddenly in his soul. He realized it was happiness.
And with it came an overpowering will to live.
kinda made me feel so sad. but it really was about learning to let go of the past. painful as it can be, i know the past is past. and it will stay there forever no matter how much i try to rekindle what was lost.
like Mike, i hope i would learn to really let go of the things in my past that i cling on to so much. and move on with life. i know there is so much in store for me that are yet to be explored. there's still so much that will make life colorful and happy. and like him, i hope i'll learn about it soon.
Monday, February 28, 2005
10:42 - on letting go
Friday, February 25, 2005
18:40 - whatever happened yesterday
whatever happened to me yesterday.... grabe, i couldn't believe what i did.
pau and i decided to eat at kfc. there were only two lines and xempre dun kme sa shorter line. there, a group of three guys were placing their orders. i patiently waited kc sobrang tagal nila and ang gulo pa. then i saw this another guy walking towards the counter. he was wearing a shirt labeled "chick magnet." and isep ko nman ang feeling nito.. hehe. to my surprise, he stood beside me. about two feet yta. thanks to those guys in front and it seemed na dalawa ung line sa isang cashier. so after mtapos nung magugulo na yun. that "chick magnet" stepped in front of the line and inunahan ako. i got so irritated kc mlamang naman nkita nya na ko before pa xa lumapit dba? so i started complaining to pau. then, she approached that guy and talked to him. the guy was laughing pa na prang hindi nman nya alam. duh! anybody would have known where the line should be. chaka noh nakapila nga ako e.
when pau said na lipat nlang kme, i went to the manager and told him to make it clear where the lines should be. he said he'll take our orders nlang. pampalubag-loob ba? kainis talaga! sabe ko hindi na kme kakain dun! shocks.. when i heard what i just said that time, natigilan ako. did i mean na hindi na kame kakain dun ever? hehe... we went to another place instead pra kumain.
what i failed to tell the manager was that partly may mali ren ung crew behind the cashier. they create temporary lines to "accomodate" their customers. e kung sana nag-open nlang cla ng another cashier, mas clear pa na pwede pumila ung tao dun.
i can only imagine how i looked like nung knausap ko ung manager ng kfc. grabe, nakakahiya.
eto pa, kninang lunch ngcheck kme ni bon ng money sa atm. at merong nnamang extra! i was going to share what happened yesterday when bon stopped me. and said na alam na nya kc cnabe na ni pau. hmm.. and not only that, alam ren ng iba sa work. =( i think established na ang katarayan ko d2. mabait nman tlaga me huh! hehe.. i was so disappointed lang cguro kya ganun.
pau and i decided to eat at kfc. there were only two lines and xempre dun kme sa shorter line. there, a group of three guys were placing their orders. i patiently waited kc sobrang tagal nila and ang gulo pa. then i saw this another guy walking towards the counter. he was wearing a shirt labeled "chick magnet." and isep ko nman ang feeling nito.. hehe. to my surprise, he stood beside me. about two feet yta. thanks to those guys in front and it seemed na dalawa ung line sa isang cashier. so after mtapos nung magugulo na yun. that "chick magnet" stepped in front of the line and inunahan ako. i got so irritated kc mlamang naman nkita nya na ko before pa xa lumapit dba? so i started complaining to pau. then, she approached that guy and talked to him. the guy was laughing pa na prang hindi nman nya alam. duh! anybody would have known where the line should be. chaka noh nakapila nga ako e.
when pau said na lipat nlang kme, i went to the manager and told him to make it clear where the lines should be. he said he'll take our orders nlang. pampalubag-loob ba? kainis talaga! sabe ko hindi na kme kakain dun! shocks.. when i heard what i just said that time, natigilan ako. did i mean na hindi na kame kakain dun ever? hehe... we went to another place instead pra kumain.
what i failed to tell the manager was that partly may mali ren ung crew behind the cashier. they create temporary lines to "accomodate" their customers. e kung sana nag-open nlang cla ng another cashier, mas clear pa na pwede pumila ung tao dun.
i can only imagine how i looked like nung knausap ko ung manager ng kfc. grabe, nakakahiya.
eto pa, kninang lunch ngcheck kme ni bon ng money sa atm. at merong nnamang extra! i was going to share what happened yesterday when bon stopped me. and said na alam na nya kc cnabe na ni pau. hmm.. and not only that, alam ren ng iba sa work. =( i think established na ang katarayan ko d2. mabait nman tlaga me huh! hehe.. i was so disappointed lang cguro kya ganun.
Friday, February 18, 2005
16:01 - a new place to bee?
today, badz and i went to this new jollibee near SGV. is it that building? nweiz, we bought lunch to go. and hell, what poor service they have! slow-moving crew. badz said that almost everyone is like new hire. ok.. but then lots of products were not available. shushz! one girl said we had to wait for badz's crunchy twirl for five minutes. but hell! it took forever to wait for it. so badz ended up buying a pie instead. those people do not seem to understand how much time is wasted because of poor customer service they have. (ehem!) -- i know sometimes i don't care about time. but i'm the customer now. and i just want to share what i felt that time. it was so disappointing. how would they make a good first impression on customers like us if they don't do their work properly. =(
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
18:05 - mga matang namumugto
this has gone way too far. i've been feeling really sad for quite sometime now. there's so much i've been thinking i dunno when i'd deal with it. well, i think i know what i should do. i just ain't doing it.
i stayed too long in glorietta yesterday with nothing to do in particular. i just wanted to be home dead tired. i tried to look for something to buy for myself, something that would make me smile. but i didn't find what i was looking for. i phoned friends. i ate at KFC. i bought coleslaw. ü
on my way out, i passed by those blind musicians and caught them singing "the greatest love of all" and i cried a tear. i dunno why. i guess i was just too emotional at that time. while waiting in line to ride the shuttle, jill passed by. i was happy to see an old friend. we didn't get to chat for long coz she has to find her own line. gosh! tatlong dekada ang pila sa shuttle namen. this was caused by a ten-wheeler truck that turned over somewhere in sucat, the driver told us. the ride home took so long. we had to reroute since traffic was heavy which was fine for me.
i came home and spoke to no one until mum arrived. actually, i don't think i would even talk if she hadn't asked me questions. i was lying in bed ready to fall asleep when she asked why i didn't bring my lunch that she prepared for me. she asked if i didn't like the food. and if i even went to work. why wouldn't i bring my lunch?
tears stream down my face as i struggle to sleep and hoped i didn't hear anything from her last night. i knew that, once again, i had hurt someone. i am hurting and not much people knew about it. i kept crying until i never felt it stop.
i stayed too long in glorietta yesterday with nothing to do in particular. i just wanted to be home dead tired. i tried to look for something to buy for myself, something that would make me smile. but i didn't find what i was looking for. i phoned friends. i ate at KFC. i bought coleslaw. ü
on my way out, i passed by those blind musicians and caught them singing "the greatest love of all" and i cried a tear. i dunno why. i guess i was just too emotional at that time. while waiting in line to ride the shuttle, jill passed by. i was happy to see an old friend. we didn't get to chat for long coz she has to find her own line. gosh! tatlong dekada ang pila sa shuttle namen. this was caused by a ten-wheeler truck that turned over somewhere in sucat, the driver told us. the ride home took so long. we had to reroute since traffic was heavy which was fine for me.
i came home and spoke to no one until mum arrived. actually, i don't think i would even talk if she hadn't asked me questions. i was lying in bed ready to fall asleep when she asked why i didn't bring my lunch that she prepared for me. she asked if i didn't like the food. and if i even went to work. why wouldn't i bring my lunch?
tears stream down my face as i struggle to sleep and hoped i didn't hear anything from her last night. i knew that, once again, i had hurt someone. i am hurting and not much people knew about it. i kept crying until i never felt it stop.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
15:54 - gonE fisHing
i'm in a reflective mode right now. i'll be back when i have pondered on things that concern me. have a nice day!
Monday, February 14, 2005
15:45 - ..idLe time..
yey! it's been a long time since we had this kind of idle time at work. when was the last time we emptied the mailboxes? hell, who would even remember! i'm just so happy about it.. :p
Monday, February 07, 2005
15:07 - marked late!
alright, i was late for work today. "because it rained," i tried to reason. what a lame excuse. well, that's one factor why i was really late. makes sleeping more comfy. ü and hey! i cannot blame the jeepney driver for waiting, for what seemed like hours, for "potential" passengers. and then the rest led to this long day.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
20:49 - bLog it!
why didn't i choose to create my blog before? well, because i really didn't like the idea that somebody else reads what i have written in my journal. but because i guess it's human nature that no matter what, others will peep into my world. (hi mum!) so here, i might as well make the best of it and enjoy the most of it. at least i am able to express what i really feel inside. ummm, i guess that's just about it. ü
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