Saturday, August 27, 2005

21:56 - .in the world of make-believe.

dapat nga bang may dash ung "make-believe"?
i seem to have lost my sense of everything. i've been gone for the longest time, i think. wala na kcng time. and even if i do, i can't write as much as my brain would like to. nwalan nga ba ng gana? mxado ng akong preoccupied? whatever! basta.. i just can't do it.
i tried sending my entry via email nung nsa zamboanga ako. pero malamang it didn't work kc walang nka post. i was not able to keep track of the many things that happened to me. and the world outside.
i went to zamboanga and finally nagmeet n kme ni jay, ang nwawala kong pinsan. hehe. kc he was in a review school last year. and got to spend time with judee, isa pang bum. and xmpre c augie. and c carl. cute tlga ng kid na un. mis ko na xa... got teary-eyed when we visited lola. hai... [lage nman akong ganun.]
went to cagayan de oro also, for a convention. was invited by my tita. that's basically the reason why i went there. we arrived a day before the event. so we had time to go to the malls. ni-tour kme ni tita tonet. i was wearing this pink top and black skirt. and guess what? my isang shop dun sa robinson's mall yta un na ung mga ngtitinda e nka pink den at black pants. ayus! made fun of it nlng.
that convention was pretty tiring. and honestly, ndi appealing ung after ng 2nd day nmen dun. cnundan p kme sa hotel nung friend ni tita at ng present ng powerpoint and prang continuation ng mga tinuturo nila. pagod nkc tas pipilitin kpa na makinig.
me and my cuz bonded too much na nagtampo na ung tita ko kc d n xa npapansin. hehe. onga nman kc. minsan lng xa d2 sa pinas tas ganun lng ung mangyayari. cried on that one too. may mali ren kc ako dun.
wen we got back to zamboanga, we left for basilan nman. btw, zamboanga to cagayan is 13-14-hour bus ride. sakit sa katawan. hehe. buti nlng sanay ako matulog sa travel. kaya ok nren. so un nga, we stayed in basilan until the day of my flight back to manila. it's really a nice place. d nga lng halata. coz the news said this and that. m happy ren nkapunta nko ng lamitan. was not able to go there last time coz tulog pa ako lage pag umaalis ung tito ko. i had a wonderful time there. sulit ang bakashon. sayang lang d ko na pwde ma extend coz may nauna na sa allocation.
when i came back from vacation, bago na ung supervisor. and bago na mga rules. and a few days after, i think. may another supervisor nnman and a new team was formed. and kasali ako dun. so bago nnman. super daming ngyari. ndi nko naghhoard. pero im still working on improving my productivity. un nlng ang problem ko kc ndi nren ako nalelate! yey! so happy tlga.

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nsa ps na c choy. d man lng ngsabe pra kunwari ako ngrefer. sa expedia p nman xa napunta. big time ang bonus dun. hehe. i'm fishing for agent wannabe's. need money e. hehe. kaya ung mga gusto magkaron ng work jan, msg me. email or txt of ym. kht ano, basta let me know. hehe.

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i've read a couple of books this time. im almost done with "the sisterhood of the traveling pants" and next stop will be hp6. excited nko. :p

and movies nman, i don't wanna punish myself for watching a tagalog movie on widescreen. i really don't like watching too much tagalog movies. lalo na sa cine. k lng if vcd or dvd at home. pero we thot it was ok kaya ayun...
the rest of movies ive seen lately were good. altho ndi ako naiyak sa if only. nalunkot lng. ewan ko. bato n yta ako. and un the sisterhood of the traveling pants nman, prang andun na ung luha ko sa gilid ng mata. pero wala p ren. it was a good movie tho.

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tatay's staying with us now. ok lng nung una coz at least may ngpeprepare ng dinner pagdating ng utol ko. aso sumobra nman. kc kht walang kakain, may fud p ren. nasasayang nman. tas i found under his bed[which was supposed to be my bed] na meron xang improvised ashtray. @!*$^~ tlga. told him he can smoke his lungs out basta sa labas and wag sa loob ng house. oo nman xa. kaso the other day naglinis ako, merong bagong "ashtray" ang kulit tlga ng lolo huh. naku!

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we're not ok nnman ng mum ko. pucha tlga. i really hate it pag d kme ok coz we tend ko get bitchy with one another. at least, that's how im feeling. hope we'll be ok soon.
and i was really upset na iparinig pa nila saken ni kuya ung conversation nila which is about me! grabeh. i don't understand why she did that. kung cnaja ba nya, and that it's her way of letting me know na mag abot nman ako ng money sknya. or, or.. whatever. un lng kc nkikita ko.
wala daw xa pkialam kung ano gawen ko sa money ko pero with what she said prang ndi ganun ung ibig nya sbhen.ngbibigay nman ako huh. ndi nga lng regular. pero bkit b money ko un e. hai.. ayoko nlng manumbat.
sana nlng d na nila iparinig sken ung ganung usapan. ang sakit kc.

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we're still not in speaking terms ni ben. i dunno if things would ever be the same again. i think i lost a friend. i blame it on both sides. i admit nman na may mali ako. and i did my part in trying for us to be ok. or cgro d nya alam un. bhala na. un na un. period.

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sana i can tell these things sa knya. thoughts that bothered me. emotions that leave only pain. ung mga apy moments ko, sana pwde ko ikwento. ung mga plans a and b and so on.. sana pwde ko hingin ang opinion nya sa mga bagay2. sana anan pa xa para ma enlighten ako. sana pwde nya i explain kung bakit nangyayari ang mga bagay sa buhay ko na ndi ko naiintindihan. sana lng tlga.

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pero wala xa. limot na. nde. ndi xa nalimutan. anjan lang xa sa ilalim ng cloud of thoughts ko. sana naiintindihan nya.

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