i dunno exactly how it feels. but think it's that kind of feeling that i have now. super!
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
17:42 - butterflies in my stomach
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
17:05 - addict!
ndi nman me mxadong addict sa blog noh! hehe.. i found this template really cool. kaso i don't wanna change this starry background that i already have. and ncra kc blog ko last time i tried to renovate everything. and some stuff and links were gone. i don't have the time to fix it yet. so i have to live with it for a while. that's why i decided to create another one instead. nweiz, you might wanna visit my new blog.
im still waiting for margo's reply.. i asked her how to cross-post. anybody who knows, please tell me. thanks.
im still waiting for margo's reply.. i asked her how to cross-post. anybody who knows, please tell me. thanks.
Monday, April 25, 2005
16:54 - can you see me?
i got used to reading blogs now and learn about other people's lives -- friends and strangers -- and kept myself updated with what's happening to some of my friends especially those who i don't always see and get in touch with.
reading their stories sometimes makes me happy, makes me laugh, makes me think, and rarely makes me cry.
i've read a couple of entries from blogs containing sad thoughts and too many unhappy endings. and i never felt so sad about it. but this time it did. i dunno what's in it specifically but i cried. and i couldn't stop myself. it didn't last too long, tho. nevertheless, i feel like im feeling the same way pong did. yes, it was pong's entry on our blog that made me cry.
and badz laughed at me when he saw me crying. of course, he laughed after finding nothing so touchy and feely on that entry. and bon said something like mababaw ang luha mo.
oo, mababaw nga. and i'm not afraid that others would see me crying. since i don't often express what i feel inside, i always cry it out. it's my way of releasing any suppressed emotions that i may have. i may be telling my friends what my problems or concerns are, but it's just not everything. and i open up to friends more than i ever do to my immediate family. you may not be able to fully imagine how hard it feels.. coz you're not like me. it's really hard.
i'm learning.. but for now, at 21 i am still the same kid whose true feelings are reflected in the amount of tears she pours out. and it takes a bold eye to fully understand.
reading their stories sometimes makes me happy, makes me laugh, makes me think, and rarely makes me cry.
i've read a couple of entries from blogs containing sad thoughts and too many unhappy endings. and i never felt so sad about it. but this time it did. i dunno what's in it specifically but i cried. and i couldn't stop myself. it didn't last too long, tho. nevertheless, i feel like im feeling the same way pong did. yes, it was pong's entry on our blog that made me cry.
and badz laughed at me when he saw me crying. of course, he laughed after finding nothing so touchy and feely on that entry. and bon said something like mababaw ang luha mo.
oo, mababaw nga. and i'm not afraid that others would see me crying. since i don't often express what i feel inside, i always cry it out. it's my way of releasing any suppressed emotions that i may have. i may be telling my friends what my problems or concerns are, but it's just not everything. and i open up to friends more than i ever do to my immediate family. you may not be able to fully imagine how hard it feels.. coz you're not like me. it's really hard.
i'm learning.. but for now, at 21 i am still the same kid whose true feelings are reflected in the amount of tears she pours out. and it takes a bold eye to fully understand.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
17:45 - sLeepyhead
hindi kme natuloy sa gerry's kahapon which is fine. really fine. and so i decided i'd come with anne and basti and kasama daw c judith for dinner. but then, since my email productivity was low, i said ndi nlang. then, i lied about meeting my cousin. so i couldn't stay any longer at my station. i had to leave. =( i asked pau to wait for me para sabay kme uwi. mhirap daw umuwi kc konti lng transpo coz jeepney drivers are on stike. pagdating sa mall, pau's gonna meet someone daw. so i guessed i'll just stroll around. pero mgkasama kme. [she was waiting for that person who sold her a dvd copy of stained glass. haha!]
i was upset that my supposedly plan was ruined and it's because i couldn't stand staying at work after shift. u know... well, you really don't know. never mind. u didn't hear me.
so there, ikot kme ni pau sa mall. nafeel ko nagugutom nko. and wished sumama nlang ako kina basti. i suspected pau would hate me for inviting her to eat. but i still asked if gusto nya kumain, and she said yes. edi kain kme. yipee!
after meeting up with that stained glass seller, we went home already.
at home, i asked my cousin kuya to help me dye my hair. since he knew how to coz he dyes his own hair too. nweiz, when i finished, i watched my two-week old pamangkin cry. tagal nya umiyak, and ndi malaman ano talaga gusto nya.
npapagod nko kakahintay sa dye, and sabe pa ni kuya, hintay pa konti. so humiga muna ako hanggang nakatulog na. mum woke me up and told me to shampoo my hair na. my tita was there at that time and offered to wash my hair. o dba.. hehe. so i grabbed my shampoo and the conditioner included in the pack.
after that, i combed til my hair dried a bit. and went to bed. *michael buble playing in the background.* ten minutes passed. twenty. Hindi pa ren ako makatulog. past 1am na. i have to sleep na. wala pa ren. inisep kong wag na matulog. pero ndi pwde dahil alam kong itutulog ko lang un sa work.
gniseng ako mum ko ng maaga. pero sadyang mabagal ako kumilos kya pagdating sa ofc, late!
at sobrang antok pa dahil sa kulang na tulog. konti lng ang na-process kong emails ngayon. nakaktamad. pero ndi pwde mangyari to. pero ndi ko ren kaya.
tapos ngayon nakuha ko pang mag blog.
hai,, i've wasted so much time today. =(
uuwi nko. excited nko makita c kuya. uuwi na xa. ngresign na daw xa sa work. mdadagdagan ang kalat at kulit sa bahay. pero ayos lng. hehe.
sana magaling na c coco, ang kapatid kong bunso. wala akong mautusan. :p
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
11:57 - quiz me
Which Of The Greek Gods Are You?
take Quiz
If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?
You are the depressed/dreamer anime girl.You either lost somebody you love or somebody broke your heart so bad that you can't pick up the shattered pieces without hurting yourself.You think nobody can heal your wounds but don't stop looking because you never know who loves you enough to try hell the one special guy could be right infront of your eyes and you don't even know it.You also love to day dream because it seems like the only place that makes you happy.But little do you know that people all around you are trying to make you happy and you won't let them in fearing you'll get another heartbreak or get hurt worse. But just try and if things go wrong just brush it off and try again.It never hurts to try. One more thing never let that lost love one leave you heart keep them in forever and keep their memory alive.
take Quiz
what sign of affection are you?
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be close to your special someone and feel warm, comfortable, and needed
take Quiz
What Lies Behind Your Eyes?
In your eyes, people can't seem to see anything because your eyes are covered up by tears! You are constantly hurt and depressed... No one seems to understand how you feel because everyone is scared to get close to you... You long to be able to reach out and tell someone everything, and all of your problems... But you have no one to tell, or they just don't seem to want to hear what you have to say. You've been hurt many times that you don't seem to have any tears left to shed, or if you do, they're an endless river flowing... You've started to hide and bottle up all or your problems and feelings, hoping that maybe they just will go away... You want company, but at the same time,you're scared of it. Your sanctuary is your room where you can just be alone and try to throw away all of your aching pains. You're dark and mysterious and people like you for that reason. Even if you think you're all by yourself in the dark, someone is always there with you. Your special someone wants to admit and show their feelings towards you, but they're afraid of how you'll take it. Get out more and enjoy life because, it is far too long to frown your way through :)
take Quiz
Which colour of Death is yours?
so according to this quiz, black daw ang color ng death pra sken. wala lng me mgawa. at ndi nman ako mxadong nag-enjoy sa mga quiz na to dba?! hmmm.. sabe nga ng pinsan kong c abu, "JFF" - just for fun. :p
What Type of Killer Are You?
Your inner soul is calling for help! You always seem so depressed, lonely, and feel like an outsider. You may have a cold, sad exterior, but in all reality you are hurt inside and bottling up all of your anger. Everyday you wonder why are you still here when there is nothing left? You use to once be a happy, loving soul, but it was damaged by 'them' and seems like it never can be fixed again. However, you have yet seemed to realize that there are people out there that deeply care for you. They secretly have a thing for you because they find you to be dark, mysterious, and full of secrets, not to mention being the prettiest person in the world! You like to enjoy your time by yourself expressing your feelings through forms of art, and enjoy nice quiet scenaries that just dazzle your mind with awe. Your bedroom is basically your sanctuary where you can hide out, hidden from those who gave you all of the pain. Try to loosen up and have some fun! Never start frowning because you never know who's falling in love with your smile :)
take Quiz
take Quiz
If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?
You are the depressed/dreamer anime girl.You either lost somebody you love or somebody broke your heart so bad that you can't pick up the shattered pieces without hurting yourself.You think nobody can heal your wounds but don't stop looking because you never know who loves you enough to try hell the one special guy could be right infront of your eyes and you don't even know it.You also love to day dream because it seems like the only place that makes you happy.But little do you know that people all around you are trying to make you happy and you won't let them in fearing you'll get another heartbreak or get hurt worse. But just try and if things go wrong just brush it off and try again.It never hurts to try. One more thing never let that lost love one leave you heart keep them in forever and keep their memory alive.
take Quiz
what sign of affection are you?
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be close to your special someone and feel warm, comfortable, and needed
take Quiz
What Lies Behind Your Eyes?
In your eyes, people can't seem to see anything because your eyes are covered up by tears! You are constantly hurt and depressed... No one seems to understand how you feel because everyone is scared to get close to you... You long to be able to reach out and tell someone everything, and all of your problems... But you have no one to tell, or they just don't seem to want to hear what you have to say. You've been hurt many times that you don't seem to have any tears left to shed, or if you do, they're an endless river flowing... You've started to hide and bottle up all or your problems and feelings, hoping that maybe they just will go away... You want company, but at the same time,you're scared of it. Your sanctuary is your room where you can just be alone and try to throw away all of your aching pains. You're dark and mysterious and people like you for that reason. Even if you think you're all by yourself in the dark, someone is always there with you. Your special someone wants to admit and show their feelings towards you, but they're afraid of how you'll take it. Get out more and enjoy life because, it is far too long to frown your way through :)
take Quiz
Which colour of Death is yours?
so according to this quiz, black daw ang color ng death pra sken. wala lng me mgawa. at ndi nman ako mxadong nag-enjoy sa mga quiz na to dba?! hmmm.. sabe nga ng pinsan kong c abu, "JFF" - just for fun. :p
What Type of Killer Are You?
You kill with magic.
You are very skilled with magic, but have poor fighting skills. But it doesn't really matter anyway since it can be as powerful as other weapons. You are probably missunderstood by people and have some pain inside you. You are not the kind of person to start a fight, but if you are provocted you respond. You probably don't have that many friends either though you might want some. According to you life is a lonely journey and you try not to care to much. Most people who are witches or anything similar is thought to be evil and want to see all people suffer. That however is not true. You don't feel that much joy seeing others in pain. You are probably peaceful and quiet when left alone.
Main weapon: Potions and spells
Quote: "A man can be destroyed but not defeated" -Ernest Hemingway
Facial expression: Blank eyes
Your inner soul is calling for help! You always seem so depressed, lonely, and feel like an outsider. You may have a cold, sad exterior, but in all reality you are hurt inside and bottling up all of your anger. Everyday you wonder why are you still here when there is nothing left? You use to once be a happy, loving soul, but it was damaged by 'them' and seems like it never can be fixed again. However, you have yet seemed to realize that there are people out there that deeply care for you. They secretly have a thing for you because they find you to be dark, mysterious, and full of secrets, not to mention being the prettiest person in the world! You like to enjoy your time by yourself expressing your feelings through forms of art, and enjoy nice quiet scenaries that just dazzle your mind with awe. Your bedroom is basically your sanctuary where you can hide out, hidden from those who gave you all of the pain. Try to loosen up and have some fun! Never start frowning because you never know who's falling in love with your smile :)
take Quiz
Friday, April 08, 2005
10:53 - Last Kiss
i never knew the story behind it until now.
it is yet another sad story. but it was pretty good.
she died in that car crash. before she breathed her last, he gave him a warm kiss - they're last kiss. he must really love her so much. he thinks of being with her again when time comes that he'll leave this world too.
it is yet another sad story. but it was pretty good.
she died in that car crash. before she breathed her last, he gave him a warm kiss - they're last kiss. he must really love her so much. he thinks of being with her again when time comes that he'll leave this world too.
Monday, April 04, 2005
15:39 - can't see in the dark
kahit mukhang maliwanag ang gabi, hindi pa ren nabibigyan ng linaw ang mga bagay na gumugulo sa aking isipan. ang dami kong iniisep at pinoproblema na cguro ay hindi na dapat pagtuunan ng pansin. pero alam niyo nman saken,,, lahat nlang big deal.
whatever!
ang gulo ng blog ko. an dami nnmang nwala. kakaedit ko ng template. ngyon inaayos ko nnman 'to. cant find my haloscan. damn.
nwala ren ung special effects ko pra sa title bar. uh huh. at mraming nagulo sa format na gusto ko. and ung counter ko =(
salamat nga pla sa nagnakaw ng wallet ko at sa hassle na binigay mo sken ngyon. leche ka! bibigay ko xo un money dhil un lng nman tlga kelangan mo. ndi mo nman klangan un gamit ko e. importante saken ung mga un. b3p tlga.
sana pinambayad ko nlang sa mas better seat sa concert ung nakuha mo saken.
ndi ako mkapag leave. ayos lng un. pero ndi ren ako mkpag call in kc ndi sumsagot un supervisor ko. aabsent ako tom. bhala na. i really need to fix those BS.
ndi pko nkakkuha ng cedula. na kelngan daw ng bank. and un power of attorney. hell with these stuff.
tas meron pa d2 sa work na cnabihan ako na mag-headset nlang kung magpplay me ng music that contains profanity. and that if i want to play songs, sana ung ok sa pandinig ng majority. cge na. nkaheadset nko. wala na sanang makikialam saken. i didn't mean to harm anybody with my kind of music. sorry na. ok?
at eto pa. nbasa ko na ung email ng isang friend. a very good friend. i can feel na sobrang concern xa saken. kaya lng alam mo nman na mhirap para saken un suggestion mo. kung suggestion ba tawag dun or ur telling me to do that/those. watev! basta un. nhihirapan ako. nweiz, thanks for loving me and caring for me.
i believe i am strong. but it's always nice to have you near. thank u so much! u know who you are.
at sa iba pang bagay... akin nlng un. -- "not right now, i need some space."
gosh! i dunno what i've done and have not done to deserve all these shit and more.
before i end this, i wanna thank lui singkit. kc she understands me so well. thanks for always being there. for laughing and crying with me. i miss you so much.
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