My name: dazzledSaturday, May 13, 2006
15:21 - what would you do...
if you knew i was dying?
Saturday, November 26, 2005
18:38 - november pest
this month has not done me any good. lahat na yta ng panahon na nbadtrip ako, nalungkot, naiyak, nagalit andito nah. there were times na masaya ako. pero i couln't help but think na may kapalit ung pagiging msaya ko. a few more days to go and i'll be glad this will be over.
birthday blues
over nga ba? im looking forward to my 22nd birthday and i don't think it will be that much fun. not everyone remembers my birthday. coz if it doesn't fall on a weekend, it surely will be a no-class, no-work day. and people tend to forget to greet you coz they don't see you. (some people do.) well, it's on a holiday kc. buti na lng i have work, it might cheer me up. i was invited to watch a movie with some friends. i hope to have a good time.
btw, c allan lng and lui among my "friends" ang nkakaalala. and allan was the only one who has been constantly greeting me whenever possible. ok lang sana kaso.. one time, he told me something like friends nga kme ni lui coz we have these "birthday blues" nga. coz i was telling him na im upset that the other guys don't remember. hai.. wag sana maghanap ng treat ung iba jan na ndi nman alam kung kelan ang bday ko. =(
m really sad.
i'm planning to buy that red jacket from adidas or that red bag na mukhang ubos na. gift ko sa sarile ko pra happy me. but it depends if i have money pa. =( got to pay for gadget pa.
undas
i was asked to stay in pasig for two nights. coz walang ksamang "grown-up" ung 2 cuzins ko and the helper. i agreed to go since i've got work during the holidays. and i anticipated heavy traffic here along sucat hi-way on those days. while i was there, i found out kuya went to the cemetery already. he could go alone and he does it sometimes nman tlaga. so i texted my mum and coco when will we go to visit my dad's grave. and nobody replied. when i came home, i learned they have already gone there and did not wait for me. i was really sad and kind of mad coz it was the first time they went without me. how could they do that? we have always planned the date and time when everyone is good to go. and now they just didn't wait for me.
graveyard
i thought there's nothing scary sa mga graveyard. well, i don't go there alone nga kc dba. whether it was day or night. but when i went earlier to visit my dad's grave, i got really scared dhil ako lng mag-isa. alam mo ba ung huling poste na may ilaw sa gitna ng kalsada? ndi pa un dun. malayo pa. ndi nman ako dpat matakot kc marami pang tao. pero lahat cla palabas na. i didn't see anyone na papunta plang sa loob. and it was getting dark. and these people, ndi ko cla kilala. wat if they come near me and snatch my fone? =( or take me somewhere else that nobody can hear me? and kht na sumigaw ako, wala p ren mkakarinig saken. wat if they simply hurt me? ndi p nman alam sa bahay kung san ako nagpunta. i decided id call someone and tell him/her where i was. pra in case i don't return, malalaman nyo wer i was the last time. i was thinking of calling lui pero mlamang tulog un. paul didn't answer his fone. cno nlang? allan? asar ako sknya e. pero cge. he answered and told him wer i was. he instructed me to get out immediately. what the hell?! i just arrived. i promised to text him when im ok na.
i felt the need to go there before i have my birthday. i feel obliged to visit. i feel bad when each day passes and i couldn't at least drop by. i thought that maybe he would visit me instead if i won't make it to his grave.
i wished i brought scissors and cleaning stuff to fix the place. but even if i have it with me, i won't be able to do it. i lit a candle and talked to him. i miss him so much. i promised to go back some other time.
commencement exercises
nag leave ako for 2 days. first is to attend my mum's grad for her master's degree. the second day was supposed to be to attend a wedding.
sa PICC ung grad. it was the most disorganized event i've ever been to. sabe 2pm ung start, then it became 1pm. and when we got there, we thought we were already late. but no. it did not start until past 3pm. we have witnessed them do their rehearsals right there when they were supposed to have started already. the school president did not bother to practice his speech. he was a complete mess. and it was really funny. and those students kept standing and moving around while the president was making his terrible speech and the guest speaker who was good but has a weird accent. i recalled the grad practice we had back in college. we were strictly not allowed to stand and go anywhere else unless we finish. i wonder how we looked from behind. it must have been beautiful.
back to this grad. i hope next time they would work hard to improve it. they don't look like they could produce well-mannered students who can pass board exams. btw, the school.. it's PCHS.
that day i got mad kay kuya. it has something to do with money. i always pay for our transpo. he's always libre. wtf. on our way to PICC, i paid for the taxi. then pauwi mum borrowed some money from me and i gave her my last money assured that we could still go home ni kuya with what money he has. he's got lakad that night so i guessed that was the reason he wants to hurry. e kaso traffic. tas gusto pa nya mag taxi. i've got 20php left and he took it to add to his money. i don't have any money n tlga. we could've taken fx kaso galit n xa kuno. watever! he does not know how to make tipid. he'll spend everything khit ndi na kanya. BS tlga.
i left home the following day coz i don't want to go to the wedding anymore. and besides, i don't have money for another taxi ride. and xa nnman ang ksma ko. so i went with my cuzin nlng kc mag-eenrol xa nung araw na un. kuya txted and was looking for me. i didn't reply. and after 2 hours, his gf called and asked wer i was and how we wud mit to go to church. after nun, ndi pa kuntento ang kuya ko. he texted me pa. letting me know galit xa and telling me things i should've done. i nver tell him wer i go so why wud i bother tell him wer i was dat day. tas he blamed me pa coz f he knew sana daw maaga xa nkaalis ng house. ndi ko na problema un. asar tlga ako.
my sassy girl
i've seen that small billboard of the movie somewhere. and when basti invited me to watch, i refused. i don't like too much of those korean or chinese soaps and stuff anymore. and i definitely would not watch it in theaters. pero sabe nila maganda and it's really funny. so one time when my brother borrowed a vcd from his friend, we watched it at home. and sobrang funny nya. i told everyone i know na panoorin ung movie. so far all responded positively. except for karen. sabe nya it was the movie she was criticizing. pero seemed to me na ako ung pinupuntirya nya and that jologs ang dating mo if u were caught watching korean flicks. so i told her i didn't like those stuff nga and wud never see it in big screens. pero prang ndi nya nagets. and thought na i watched it sa cine pa. ano buzz! ndi nga e. tas un, nag argue nkme. it was thru txt lang. oo napikon ako. e ndi ko nagustuhan ung mga cnabe nya. ndi lng kme nagkaintindihan. bhala nah. we haven't talked since it happened. that was nov. 12.
gudluck sa mga susunod na araw.
birthday blues
over nga ba? im looking forward to my 22nd birthday and i don't think it will be that much fun. not everyone remembers my birthday. coz if it doesn't fall on a weekend, it surely will be a no-class, no-work day. and people tend to forget to greet you coz they don't see you. (some people do.) well, it's on a holiday kc. buti na lng i have work, it might cheer me up. i was invited to watch a movie with some friends. i hope to have a good time.
btw, c allan lng and lui among my "friends" ang nkakaalala. and allan was the only one who has been constantly greeting me whenever possible. ok lang sana kaso.. one time, he told me something like friends nga kme ni lui coz we have these "birthday blues" nga. coz i was telling him na im upset that the other guys don't remember. hai.. wag sana maghanap ng treat ung iba jan na ndi nman alam kung kelan ang bday ko. =(
m really sad.
i'm planning to buy that red jacket from adidas or that red bag na mukhang ubos na. gift ko sa sarile ko pra happy me. but it depends if i have money pa. =( got to pay for gadget pa.
undas
i was asked to stay in pasig for two nights. coz walang ksamang "grown-up" ung 2 cuzins ko and the helper. i agreed to go since i've got work during the holidays. and i anticipated heavy traffic here along sucat hi-way on those days. while i was there, i found out kuya went to the cemetery already. he could go alone and he does it sometimes nman tlaga. so i texted my mum and coco when will we go to visit my dad's grave. and nobody replied. when i came home, i learned they have already gone there and did not wait for me. i was really sad and kind of mad coz it was the first time they went without me. how could they do that? we have always planned the date and time when everyone is good to go. and now they just didn't wait for me.
graveyard
i thought there's nothing scary sa mga graveyard. well, i don't go there alone nga kc dba. whether it was day or night. but when i went earlier to visit my dad's grave, i got really scared dhil ako lng mag-isa. alam mo ba ung huling poste na may ilaw sa gitna ng kalsada? ndi pa un dun. malayo pa. ndi nman ako dpat matakot kc marami pang tao. pero lahat cla palabas na. i didn't see anyone na papunta plang sa loob. and it was getting dark. and these people, ndi ko cla kilala. wat if they come near me and snatch my fone? =( or take me somewhere else that nobody can hear me? and kht na sumigaw ako, wala p ren mkakarinig saken. wat if they simply hurt me? ndi p nman alam sa bahay kung san ako nagpunta. i decided id call someone and tell him/her where i was. pra in case i don't return, malalaman nyo wer i was the last time. i was thinking of calling lui pero mlamang tulog un. paul didn't answer his fone. cno nlang? allan? asar ako sknya e. pero cge. he answered and told him wer i was. he instructed me to get out immediately. what the hell?! i just arrived. i promised to text him when im ok na.
i felt the need to go there before i have my birthday. i feel obliged to visit. i feel bad when each day passes and i couldn't at least drop by. i thought that maybe he would visit me instead if i won't make it to his grave.
i wished i brought scissors and cleaning stuff to fix the place. but even if i have it with me, i won't be able to do it. i lit a candle and talked to him. i miss him so much. i promised to go back some other time.
commencement exercises
nag leave ako for 2 days. first is to attend my mum's grad for her master's degree. the second day was supposed to be to attend a wedding.
sa PICC ung grad. it was the most disorganized event i've ever been to. sabe 2pm ung start, then it became 1pm. and when we got there, we thought we were already late. but no. it did not start until past 3pm. we have witnessed them do their rehearsals right there when they were supposed to have started already. the school president did not bother to practice his speech. he was a complete mess. and it was really funny. and those students kept standing and moving around while the president was making his terrible speech and the guest speaker who was good but has a weird accent. i recalled the grad practice we had back in college. we were strictly not allowed to stand and go anywhere else unless we finish. i wonder how we looked from behind. it must have been beautiful.
back to this grad. i hope next time they would work hard to improve it. they don't look like they could produce well-mannered students who can pass board exams. btw, the school.. it's PCHS.
that day i got mad kay kuya. it has something to do with money. i always pay for our transpo. he's always libre. wtf. on our way to PICC, i paid for the taxi. then pauwi mum borrowed some money from me and i gave her my last money assured that we could still go home ni kuya with what money he has. he's got lakad that night so i guessed that was the reason he wants to hurry. e kaso traffic. tas gusto pa nya mag taxi. i've got 20php left and he took it to add to his money. i don't have any money n tlga. we could've taken fx kaso galit n xa kuno. watever! he does not know how to make tipid. he'll spend everything khit ndi na kanya. BS tlga.
i left home the following day coz i don't want to go to the wedding anymore. and besides, i don't have money for another taxi ride. and xa nnman ang ksma ko. so i went with my cuzin nlng kc mag-eenrol xa nung araw na un. kuya txted and was looking for me. i didn't reply. and after 2 hours, his gf called and asked wer i was and how we wud mit to go to church. after nun, ndi pa kuntento ang kuya ko. he texted me pa. letting me know galit xa and telling me things i should've done. i nver tell him wer i go so why wud i bother tell him wer i was dat day. tas he blamed me pa coz f he knew sana daw maaga xa nkaalis ng house. ndi ko na problema un. asar tlga ako.
my sassy girl
i've seen that small billboard of the movie somewhere. and when basti invited me to watch, i refused. i don't like too much of those korean or chinese soaps and stuff anymore. and i definitely would not watch it in theaters. pero sabe nila maganda and it's really funny. so one time when my brother borrowed a vcd from his friend, we watched it at home. and sobrang funny nya. i told everyone i know na panoorin ung movie. so far all responded positively. except for karen. sabe nya it was the movie she was criticizing. pero seemed to me na ako ung pinupuntirya nya and that jologs ang dating mo if u were caught watching korean flicks. so i told her i didn't like those stuff nga and wud never see it in big screens. pero prang ndi nya nagets. and thought na i watched it sa cine pa. ano buzz! ndi nga e. tas un, nag argue nkme. it was thru txt lang. oo napikon ako. e ndi ko nagustuhan ung mga cnabe nya. ndi lng kme nagkaintindihan. bhala nah. we haven't talked since it happened. that was nov. 12.
gudluck sa mga susunod na araw.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
16:39 - message sent
i'm always thankful for people who stay even if i show them the real me, coz i can't be soeone others presume or expect me to be. it's nice to know you remain while i can just be me.ΓΌ
i sent this message to 8 people and got only 1 reply. =(
sabe nya, i'm perfect d way i am and that gr8ful xa 4 having me as a friend. and kahit lage nya ako ako sabihan na mataray, she can see that deep inside i'm nice and sweet.
how can sum1 actually find a cursing girl sweet and nice? may mali cgro sknya. hehe. pero natouch ako dun. coz not all people can actually see it. kakaiyak tuloy. thanks huh!
i sent this message to 8 people and got only 1 reply. =(
sabe nya, i'm perfect d way i am and that gr8ful xa 4 having me as a friend. and kahit lage nya ako ako sabihan na mataray, she can see that deep inside i'm nice and sweet.
how can sum1 actually find a cursing girl sweet and nice? may mali cgro sknya. hehe. pero natouch ako dun. coz not all people can actually see it. kakaiyak tuloy. thanks huh!
Saturday, October 22, 2005
21:48 - .bored.
wala lng...
Sunday, October 16, 2005
21:36 - happy days
and now we're slightly weathered, we're slightly worn
our hands grip together, eye to eye through the storm, yet
i still believe in ever after with you, yeah
coz life is a pleasure with you by my side,
and there ain't no current in this river we can't ride
i still believe in ever after with you
21:19 - you see.. you never.. yeah, yeah
i never think you saw the best of me
there's a side you'll never know
coz love and loving are two different things
set your sights far too low
but now i've got someone who cares for me
he wrote my name in silver sands
i think you know you've lost the love of your life
you said i was the best you've ever had
because im in demand
you're thinking of the way you should've held my hand
and all the times you'd say you didn't understand
you never had our love written in your plans
~~~~
but thanks for making me feel good.
20:38 - once you pop...
...you can't stop nga ba?
nonsense.
ako na lang yta ang ndi nag uupdate ng blog, ng friendster at kung anu ano pa. ang kalat n den ng mga inbox ko sa mails.
ang kulit p den ng pinsan kong c augie. eto cnabe ko na ayoko muna makipag usap dahil nagalit tlga ako sa ginawa nya. lage p den nagttxt at ngsend p ng msg sa friendster.
bakit ganun, pag ndi ko cnasabe ung gusto ko.. magulo ako. ngayon cnabe ko na, magulo p den ba ako? huh?! ako b tlga? kaasar huh.
meron pang anonymous na nagcomment. sana ngpakilala. pero duwag. cge n nga.
annoying p den xa. pero im trying my very best not to be so bugnutin and and mainitin ang ulo. kaya ko nman e. wag lang xa magpakita. hehe! chaka ngayong october lng me ngstart. so hyaan lang muna ako. hehe. kc ndi ko nman tlga kaya i-control.
m feeling stressed with the new sched we have.
i wanted to go to my old friends bday party. kaso i can't. badtrip. sana kc ok na lahat. kaya ko nman e. bkit b kc ndi pwde? !*$+<@ kc. alam ko na. walang tiwala saken. !*$+<@ tlga.
sana may next time pa para sa bonding nmen sa ps. miss ko na cla.
he's an ass. ang kapal ng mukha. wag sana nya akong kinakausap ng ganun. kc pag ako nagsalita, baka bigla nalang...
..nonsense tlga.
nonsense.
ako na lang yta ang ndi nag uupdate ng blog, ng friendster at kung anu ano pa. ang kalat n den ng mga inbox ko sa mails.
ang kulit p den ng pinsan kong c augie. eto cnabe ko na ayoko muna makipag usap dahil nagalit tlga ako sa ginawa nya. lage p den nagttxt at ngsend p ng msg sa friendster.
bakit ganun, pag ndi ko cnasabe ung gusto ko.. magulo ako. ngayon cnabe ko na, magulo p den ba ako? huh?! ako b tlga? kaasar huh.
meron pang anonymous na nagcomment. sana ngpakilala. pero duwag. cge n nga.
annoying p den xa. pero im trying my very best not to be so bugnutin and and mainitin ang ulo. kaya ko nman e. wag lang xa magpakita. hehe! chaka ngayong october lng me ngstart. so hyaan lang muna ako. hehe. kc ndi ko nman tlga kaya i-control.
m feeling stressed with the new sched we have.
i wanted to go to my old friends bday party. kaso i can't. badtrip. sana kc ok na lahat. kaya ko nman e. bkit b kc ndi pwde? !*$+<@ kc. alam ko na. walang tiwala saken. !*$+<@ tlga.
sana may next time pa para sa bonding nmen sa ps. miss ko na cla.
he's an ass. ang kapal ng mukha. wag sana nya akong kinakausap ng ganun. kc pag ako nagsalita, baka bigla nalang...
..nonsense tlga.
Monday, September 26, 2005
23:21 - plain and simple
yup. i got myself a new template. and i didn't put everything else anymore. it will be just me and my blog now. as if i still write from time to time. ive got no links. no tags.no counters. no nonsense. no friends. waaah! no friends?! who cares nweiz? hehe.. i know, i know. u guys will always be there alright. i just wanted this new template. and i don't need to place in your links to get in touch with you, it's carved in my heart. hmm.. whatever...
nyt. ciao.
nyt. ciao.
23:11 -
Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.
21:39 - junk mail
puro junk nlang yta lahat ng nasa inbox ko. friendster alerts at kung anu-anong forwarded mails. pero ayus lng. may mapupulot den nmang aral. (napulot nga b?) nweiz, i think eto bagay saken. share ko lang den senyo.
HOW TO CONTROL EMOTIONS
This would give you guides on how to control your emotions towards your better-half, friends, officemates and all the people around you, especially your "boss". The rules of practicing "ugaling langit, ugaling kaaya-aya" :
#1 Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit. Pag naunahan ka na ng galit niya, tumahimik ka na lang muna.
#2 Walang taong nag-aaway mag-isa. Pag hindi kayo sumagot o pumatol, titigil din daw ang taong nakikipag- away sa inyo.
#3 Ang taong galit, 'bingi.' If someone is angry, wala raw pinakikinggan, so, don't try to explain and fight back. Hindi ka niya iintindihin dahil wala siyang naririnig kundi ang sarili nya.
#4 Ang taong galit, 'abnoy.' Ayon sa pastor, Biblical daw ito? because the Lord said when He was crucified, "Father, patawarin mo sila dahil hindi nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa." Modern term for these kinds of people are abnoys, so you better not get angry para huwag kang matawag na abnoy.
You should also know and realize that the persons who make your day bad are jewel, because you need them for you to mature. Hangga't andyan daw sila at kinaiinisan mo, ibig sabihin, immature ka pa. God will not take away those people; it's for you to take away your bad feelings towards them. You'll know na mature ka na pag dumating 'yung time na hindi ka na naiinis sa mga taong ito because you have learned to accept them and to have patience with them.
#5 Finally, the best part of this is to tell yourself na, because of this person, "I will grow mature," and that DAHIL SA CONTRIBUTION NIYA SA MATURITY MO, KUKUNIN DIN SYA NI LORD.
HOW TO CONTROL EMOTIONS
This would give you guides on how to control your emotions towards your better-half, friends, officemates and all the people around you, especially your "boss". The rules of practicing "ugaling langit, ugaling kaaya-aya" :
#1 Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit. Pag naunahan ka na ng galit niya, tumahimik ka na lang muna.
#2 Walang taong nag-aaway mag-isa. Pag hindi kayo sumagot o pumatol, titigil din daw ang taong nakikipag- away sa inyo.
#3 Ang taong galit, 'bingi.' If someone is angry, wala raw pinakikinggan, so, don't try to explain and fight back. Hindi ka niya iintindihin dahil wala siyang naririnig kundi ang sarili nya.
#4 Ang taong galit, 'abnoy.' Ayon sa pastor, Biblical daw ito? because the Lord said when He was crucified, "Father, patawarin mo sila dahil hindi nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa." Modern term for these kinds of people are abnoys, so you better not get angry para huwag kang matawag na abnoy.
You should also know and realize that the persons who make your day bad are jewel, because you need them for you to mature. Hangga't andyan daw sila at kinaiinisan mo, ibig sabihin, immature ka pa. God will not take away those people; it's for you to take away your bad feelings towards them. You'll know na mature ka na pag dumating 'yung time na hindi ka na naiinis sa mga taong ito because you have learned to accept them and to have patience with them.
#5 Finally, the best part of this is to tell yourself na, because of this person, "I will grow mature," and that DAHIL SA CONTRIBUTION NIYA SA MATURITY MO, KUKUNIN DIN SYA NI LORD.
21:37 - ?!$@^=+|%
i can't view my own blog. sigh.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
21:56 - .in the world of make-believe.
dapat nga bang may dash ung "make-believe"?
i seem to have lost my sense of everything. i've been gone for the longest time, i think. wala na kcng time. and even if i do, i can't write as much as my brain would like to. nwalan nga ba ng gana? mxado ng akong preoccupied? whatever! basta.. i just can't do it.
i tried sending my entry via email nung nsa zamboanga ako. pero malamang it didn't work kc walang nka post. i was not able to keep track of the many things that happened to me. and the world outside.
i went to zamboanga and finally nagmeet n kme ni jay, ang nwawala kong pinsan. hehe. kc he was in a review school last year. and got to spend time with judee, isa pang bum. and xmpre c augie. and c carl. cute tlga ng kid na un. mis ko na xa... got teary-eyed when we visited lola. hai... [lage nman akong ganun.]
went to cagayan de oro also, for a convention. was invited by my tita. that's basically the reason why i went there. we arrived a day before the event. so we had time to go to the malls. ni-tour kme ni tita tonet. i was wearing this pink top and black skirt. and guess what? my isang shop dun sa robinson's mall yta un na ung mga ngtitinda e nka pink den at black pants. ayus! made fun of it nlng.
that convention was pretty tiring. and honestly, ndi appealing ung after ng 2nd day nmen dun. cnundan p kme sa hotel nung friend ni tita at ng present ng powerpoint and prang continuation ng mga tinuturo nila. pagod nkc tas pipilitin kpa na makinig.
me and my cuz bonded too much na nagtampo na ung tita ko kc d n xa npapansin. hehe. onga nman kc. minsan lng xa d2 sa pinas tas ganun lng ung mangyayari. cried on that one too. may mali ren kc ako dun.
wen we got back to zamboanga, we left for basilan nman. btw, zamboanga to cagayan is 13-14-hour bus ride. sakit sa katawan. hehe. buti nlng sanay ako matulog sa travel. kaya ok nren. so un nga, we stayed in basilan until the day of my flight back to manila. it's really a nice place. d nga lng halata. coz the news said this and that. m happy ren nkapunta nko ng lamitan. was not able to go there last time coz tulog pa ako lage pag umaalis ung tito ko. i had a wonderful time there. sulit ang bakashon. sayang lang d ko na pwde ma extend coz may nauna na sa allocation.
when i came back from vacation, bago na ung supervisor. and bago na mga rules. and a few days after, i think. may another supervisor nnman and a new team was formed. and kasali ako dun. so bago nnman. super daming ngyari. ndi nko naghhoard. pero im still working on improving my productivity. un nlng ang problem ko kc ndi nren ako nalelate! yey! so happy tlga.
+++
nsa ps na c choy. d man lng ngsabe pra kunwari ako ngrefer. sa expedia p nman xa napunta. big time ang bonus dun. hehe. i'm fishing for agent wannabe's. need money e. hehe. kaya ung mga gusto magkaron ng work jan, msg me. email or txt of ym. kht ano, basta let me know. hehe.
+++
i've read a couple of books this time. im almost done with "the sisterhood of the traveling pants" and next stop will be hp6. excited nko. :p
and movies nman, i don't wanna punish myself for watching a tagalog movie on widescreen. i really don't like watching too much tagalog movies. lalo na sa cine. k lng if vcd or dvd at home. pero we thot it was ok kaya ayun...
the rest of movies ive seen lately were good. altho ndi ako naiyak sa if only. nalunkot lng. ewan ko. bato n yta ako. and un the sisterhood of the traveling pants nman, prang andun na ung luha ko sa gilid ng mata. pero wala p ren. it was a good movie tho.
+++
tatay's staying with us now. ok lng nung una coz at least may ngpeprepare ng dinner pagdating ng utol ko. aso sumobra nman. kc kht walang kakain, may fud p ren. nasasayang nman. tas i found under his bed[which was supposed to be my bed] na meron xang improvised ashtray. @!*$^~ tlga. told him he can smoke his lungs out basta sa labas and wag sa loob ng house. oo nman xa. kaso the other day naglinis ako, merong bagong "ashtray" ang kulit tlga ng lolo huh. naku!
+++
we're not ok nnman ng mum ko. pucha tlga. i really hate it pag d kme ok coz we tend ko get bitchy with one another. at least, that's how im feeling. hope we'll be ok soon.
and i was really upset na iparinig pa nila saken ni kuya ung conversation nila which is about me! grabeh. i don't understand why she did that. kung cnaja ba nya, and that it's her way of letting me know na mag abot nman ako ng money sknya. or, or.. whatever. un lng kc nkikita ko.
wala daw xa pkialam kung ano gawen ko sa money ko pero with what she said prang ndi ganun ung ibig nya sbhen.ngbibigay nman ako huh. ndi nga lng regular. pero bkit b money ko un e. hai.. ayoko nlng manumbat.
sana nlng d na nila iparinig sken ung ganung usapan. ang sakit kc.
+++
we're still not in speaking terms ni ben. i dunno if things would ever be the same again. i think i lost a friend. i blame it on both sides. i admit nman na may mali ako. and i did my part in trying for us to be ok. or cgro d nya alam un. bhala na. un na un. period.
+++
sana i can tell these things sa knya. thoughts that bothered me. emotions that leave only pain. ung mga apy moments ko, sana pwde ko ikwento. ung mga plans a and b and so on.. sana pwde ko hingin ang opinion nya sa mga bagay2. sana anan pa xa para ma enlighten ako. sana pwde nya i explain kung bakit nangyayari ang mga bagay sa buhay ko na ndi ko naiintindihan. sana lng tlga.
~~~~
pero wala xa. limot na. nde. ndi xa nalimutan. anjan lang xa sa ilalim ng cloud of thoughts ko. sana naiintindihan nya.
i seem to have lost my sense of everything. i've been gone for the longest time, i think. wala na kcng time. and even if i do, i can't write as much as my brain would like to. nwalan nga ba ng gana? mxado ng akong preoccupied? whatever! basta.. i just can't do it.
i tried sending my entry via email nung nsa zamboanga ako. pero malamang it didn't work kc walang nka post. i was not able to keep track of the many things that happened to me. and the world outside.
i went to zamboanga and finally nagmeet n kme ni jay, ang nwawala kong pinsan. hehe. kc he was in a review school last year. and got to spend time with judee, isa pang bum. and xmpre c augie. and c carl. cute tlga ng kid na un. mis ko na xa... got teary-eyed when we visited lola. hai... [lage nman akong ganun.]
went to cagayan de oro also, for a convention. was invited by my tita. that's basically the reason why i went there. we arrived a day before the event. so we had time to go to the malls. ni-tour kme ni tita tonet. i was wearing this pink top and black skirt. and guess what? my isang shop dun sa robinson's mall yta un na ung mga ngtitinda e nka pink den at black pants. ayus! made fun of it nlng.
that convention was pretty tiring. and honestly, ndi appealing ung after ng 2nd day nmen dun. cnundan p kme sa hotel nung friend ni tita at ng present ng powerpoint and prang continuation ng mga tinuturo nila. pagod nkc tas pipilitin kpa na makinig.
me and my cuz bonded too much na nagtampo na ung tita ko kc d n xa npapansin. hehe. onga nman kc. minsan lng xa d2 sa pinas tas ganun lng ung mangyayari. cried on that one too. may mali ren kc ako dun.
wen we got back to zamboanga, we left for basilan nman. btw, zamboanga to cagayan is 13-14-hour bus ride. sakit sa katawan. hehe. buti nlng sanay ako matulog sa travel. kaya ok nren. so un nga, we stayed in basilan until the day of my flight back to manila. it's really a nice place. d nga lng halata. coz the news said this and that. m happy ren nkapunta nko ng lamitan. was not able to go there last time coz tulog pa ako lage pag umaalis ung tito ko. i had a wonderful time there. sulit ang bakashon. sayang lang d ko na pwde ma extend coz may nauna na sa allocation.
when i came back from vacation, bago na ung supervisor. and bago na mga rules. and a few days after, i think. may another supervisor nnman and a new team was formed. and kasali ako dun. so bago nnman. super daming ngyari. ndi nko naghhoard. pero im still working on improving my productivity. un nlng ang problem ko kc ndi nren ako nalelate! yey! so happy tlga.
+++
nsa ps na c choy. d man lng ngsabe pra kunwari ako ngrefer. sa expedia p nman xa napunta. big time ang bonus dun. hehe. i'm fishing for agent wannabe's. need money e. hehe. kaya ung mga gusto magkaron ng work jan, msg me. email or txt of ym. kht ano, basta let me know. hehe.
+++
i've read a couple of books this time. im almost done with "the sisterhood of the traveling pants" and next stop will be hp6. excited nko. :p
and movies nman, i don't wanna punish myself for watching a tagalog movie on widescreen. i really don't like watching too much tagalog movies. lalo na sa cine. k lng if vcd or dvd at home. pero we thot it was ok kaya ayun...
the rest of movies ive seen lately were good. altho ndi ako naiyak sa if only. nalunkot lng. ewan ko. bato n yta ako. and un the sisterhood of the traveling pants nman, prang andun na ung luha ko sa gilid ng mata. pero wala p ren. it was a good movie tho.
+++
tatay's staying with us now. ok lng nung una coz at least may ngpeprepare ng dinner pagdating ng utol ko. aso sumobra nman. kc kht walang kakain, may fud p ren. nasasayang nman. tas i found under his bed[which was supposed to be my bed] na meron xang improvised ashtray. @!*$^~ tlga. told him he can smoke his lungs out basta sa labas and wag sa loob ng house. oo nman xa. kaso the other day naglinis ako, merong bagong "ashtray" ang kulit tlga ng lolo huh. naku!
+++
we're not ok nnman ng mum ko. pucha tlga. i really hate it pag d kme ok coz we tend ko get bitchy with one another. at least, that's how im feeling. hope we'll be ok soon.
and i was really upset na iparinig pa nila saken ni kuya ung conversation nila which is about me! grabeh. i don't understand why she did that. kung cnaja ba nya, and that it's her way of letting me know na mag abot nman ako ng money sknya. or, or.. whatever. un lng kc nkikita ko.
wala daw xa pkialam kung ano gawen ko sa money ko pero with what she said prang ndi ganun ung ibig nya sbhen.ngbibigay nman ako huh. ndi nga lng regular. pero bkit b money ko un e. hai.. ayoko nlng manumbat.
sana nlng d na nila iparinig sken ung ganung usapan. ang sakit kc.
+++
we're still not in speaking terms ni ben. i dunno if things would ever be the same again. i think i lost a friend. i blame it on both sides. i admit nman na may mali ako. and i did my part in trying for us to be ok. or cgro d nya alam un. bhala na. un na un. period.
+++
sana i can tell these things sa knya. thoughts that bothered me. emotions that leave only pain. ung mga apy moments ko, sana pwde ko ikwento. ung mga plans a and b and so on.. sana pwde ko hingin ang opinion nya sa mga bagay2. sana anan pa xa para ma enlighten ako. sana pwde nya i explain kung bakit nangyayari ang mga bagay sa buhay ko na ndi ko naiintindihan. sana lng tlga.
~~~~
pero wala xa. limot na. nde. ndi xa nalimutan. anjan lang xa sa ilalim ng cloud of thoughts ko. sana naiintindihan nya.
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